never play flip cup with pint glasses
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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