I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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