you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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