standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
