I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
did you just send me my own nude
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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