you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
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