its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
