Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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