Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Randomize
