I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
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