it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
