Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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