Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
