The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize