i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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