my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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