a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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