Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I can't turn off my feet"
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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