You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
