Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
