just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
