Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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