just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
