Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
i wish my penis had a tongue
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
