my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
