Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
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