walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
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