How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
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