talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i just had sex bonerless
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
