Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize