Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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