what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
