I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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