Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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