first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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