Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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