Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
its not stalking. its research.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
