whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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