My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
