Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
