he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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