i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
