zippers are such a cool invention
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
