i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
