I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
