Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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