I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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