Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
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