omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
