after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
of course. lets lasso hookers.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
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