physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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