I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
All I want is dick and wine.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
