just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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