I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
