Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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