Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
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