so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Randomize
