Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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