I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
