i need an iv and a liver transplant
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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