You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize