Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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