the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
