I smell stomach acid.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
