Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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