In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
