She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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